Monday, July 09, 2007
Screw this.
All of it.
I have so much to say.
But I know, it would be unwise.
Yet, here is a hint of what I feel.
You had no frigging right to assume such,
monstrosity from her who wouldn't hurt
even the smallest of creatures.
I gave you the trust of a friend.
&trusted upon you a friend.
Sadly, this has turned out to be a mistake.
with nobody to blame, but me.
mistaken I was,
by the thought that
you were a sane,
amongst your circus freak show.
I cannot express my disappointment,
of your cowardly retreat.
&utter ridicule of which you
handled the situation with.
Fcuk it, I trusted you.
And God, I have no words to describe,
just how sorry I am.
Sweetheart, I am so so sorry.
I know no amount of apology
will make me feel any better.
But shit, I'm sorry.
I didn't know it would come to this.
&this past week has been crazy.
I hardly had the chance to contact you.
I should've tried harder.
I felt like suffocating,
I couldn't get the words out
of my mouth.
I'm so sorry, for everything.
I couldn't get to tell it
to you face-to-face.
I'm sorry for giving you a rude shock.
I'm sorry I was too cowardly,
that I had to beat around the bush
& maybe even I, didn't say it properly.
I'm just so sorry.
And to you,
I know you're just
trying to avoid it all. Yet so far
your views are similar as mine.
But now, as much as I resent it;
I'm having trouble
trusting you.
Are you just like them?
Them who care for nobody but self.
Or at least pretend to care.
Them who live, solely,
for play.
Our friendship has been
interesting, smiling.
Yet, now I feel disappointment.
I'm just so afraid,
tht you would bring similar
disappointment.
It is hardly fair, I realise.
But should I leave all of this;
including you?
Should I leave all of this,
walk away & never look back?
'Cause right now,
it seems the wisest of all.
Which you are you ?
Don't bother asking.
Your guess is as best as anyone's.
{1:09 PM}
x o x o
